Did My Soul Choose This? How One Spiritual Belief Changed My Relationship with Suffering

"My desire, my most fervent wish, is that you recognize the tremendous courage you show in every moment of every day when, with each breath, you reaffirm your decision to embrace and learn from your own challenges. Within that recognition, you will find your soul." ~ Robert Schwartz, Your Soul's Plan

There was a time in my life when I couldn't understand why so many painful things had happened to me.

I lost my dad when I was young. I lost my mom years later. I've experienced trauma, heartbreak, unhealthy relationships, and periods of deep darkness that left me questioning everything. Like many people who have endured significant suffering, I often found myself asking the same question:

Why?

Why did this happen to me?

Why did life have to be so difficult?

Why did it seem like some people were handed easier paths while others were forced to climb mountains just to survive?

For years, I searched for answers.

Then I came across a book that completely changed my perspective: Your Soul's Plan by Robert Schwartz.

The central idea of the book is both simple and profound: before we incarnate into this lifetime, our souls may choose certain experiences, challenges, relationships, and even physical illnesses in order to learn, grow, heal, and evolve.

At first, I wasn't sure what to think.

The concept felt almost impossible to accept. Why would anyone choose suffering?

But the more I sat with the idea, the more something inside me began to shift.

Looking at Life Through a Different Lens

What if the hardships I've faced weren't random?

What if there was meaning hidden within the pain?

What if my soul saw a bigger picture that my human mind couldn't yet understand?

I began considering the possibility that every challenge I encountered carried an opportunity for growth.

Not because suffering is good.

Not because trauma is necessary.

And certainly not because anyone deserves painful experiences.

But perhaps our souls understand that some of our deepest lessons emerge through adversity.

Maybe courage can only be discovered when we're afraid.

Maybe resilience is developed through struggle.

Maybe compassion is born from our own wounds.

Maybe wisdom is earned through experience.

When I began viewing my life through this lens, something remarkable happened.

I stopped asking, "Why is this happening to me?"

And started asking, "What is this teaching me?"

From Victimhood to Empowerment

One of the greatest gifts this perspective gave me was a sense of empowerment.

When we believe life is happening to us, it's easy to feel helpless.

We can become stuck in anger, resentment, or despair, waiting for circumstances to change before we allow ourselves to move forward.

But when we begin to view challenges as opportunities for soul growth, our relationship with adversity changes.

Instead of seeing obstacles as evidence that life is against us, we can begin to see them as invitations.

Invitations to heal.

Invitations to grow.

Invitations to become more than we were before.

This shift doesn't erase pain.

It doesn't make grief disappear.

It doesn't magically heal trauma overnight.

But it does give suffering meaning.

And meaning can be incredibly powerful.

For me, this belief lit a fire.

It inspired me to stop waiting for life to get easier and start becoming stronger.

It motivated me to pursue healing, personal growth, mindfulness, and self-discovery.

It encouraged me to ask difficult questions and take responsibility for my own transformation.

What About Physical Illness and Other Challenges?

One of the most thought-provoking aspects of Your Soul's Plan is the idea that souls may choose not only life circumstances but also physical ailments, disabilities, difficult relationships, losses, and other challenges before birth.

Whether or not you agree with this concept, I believe it invites us to explore a powerful question:

What if there is purpose in experiences that seem purposeless?

Many people who have faced significant health challenges, losses, or adversity describe profound personal growth that emerged from those experiences.

They discover inner strength they didn't know they possessed.

They develop deeper compassion for others.

They reevaluate what truly matters.

They find meaning, purpose, and connection in unexpected places.

Again, this doesn't mean suffering is desirable or that we should seek it out.

But perhaps growth can coexist with pain.

Perhaps our greatest challenges can also become our greatest teachers.

You Don't Have to Believe It

The truth is, none of us can know with certainty what happens before we are born or after we die.

The idea that our souls choose our life experiences is a spiritual perspective, not a scientifically proven fact.

And that's okay.

You don't have to fully embrace this belief for it to offer something valuable.

For me, it offered hope.

It offered meaning.

It offered a new way of understanding my journey.

Most importantly, it helped me stop viewing myself as broken by my experiences and start seeing myself as someone who was growing through them.

A New Question

Today, when I encounter challenges, I try to ask a different question.

Instead of asking, "Why is this happening to me?"

I ask:

"What is my soul inviting me to learn?"

Sometimes the answer doesn't come right away.

Sometimes it takes years to understand the purpose hidden within a difficult chapter.

But again and again, I've found that my greatest periods of growth emerged from my greatest struggles.

Whether you believe your soul chose this life or not, perhaps there is value in considering that your challenges are not the end of your story.

Perhaps they are helping shape the person you are becoming.

Perhaps there is wisdom waiting to be discovered on the other side of your struggle.

And perhaps, just perhaps, your soul knew all along that you were strong enough to overcome it.

You are stronger than you think, and I believe in you.

All my love,

Shanna

Progress, not perfection